The Butt Brain
March 17, 2009
It just dawned on me that my brain must be located in my butt. A few weeks ago I got a new 20 inch Mac computer so that I could pass down my beloved laptop Mac to my 16 year old son who should’ve reported me to Childrens’ Services for keeping him computer-less all these years. It was time. Only after I’d transferred all my data, erased the laptop and watched it vanish (to websites I can’t even imagine, probably) behind his bedroom door, only then did I realize that I was unable to write two coherent sentences sitting here in this hard chair at my serious desk. Up until now I hadn’t known that my thoughts flow most comfortably into my blog posts when I’m seated most comfortably, which is when I’m almost but not officially lying down.( This must be why I get those great ideas in the middle of the night as well.) All of my blog posts have been composed from the comfort of my living room lazyboyesque recliner, pillow propping my laptop (that must be why they call it a laptop) and preferably with The Ellen DeGeneris show playing on my Tivo.
Sitting here, upright, I can’t think. It feels like I’m trying to hard. The upside of this is that I spend less time online and my house is a milispeck cleaner, although no one would notice besides maybe my sister but I miss my comfy chair and I miss my blaug brain.
So, a plan needed to be made. Either I give up blogging or, being the Lifestyle Coach that I portend to be, I could force myself to type SOMETHING,anything, with the hope that a small creative thought from my butt brain will make it’s way up my uncomfortably straight-back spine and onto the keyboard. But as you can see it hasn’t been too productive so far.
Here’s one. Go to bed hungry. Often times when I am not on my good-eating routine, I will get into bed and my last thought is, “Ugh, I’m full.” I hate that. I’ve often recommended stopping eating three hours before bedtime, but a new way to think of it is to try to go to bed so unfull that your last thought is, “What should I have for breakfast?”
Going to bed with your food already digested gives your digestive tract a chance to truly rest and your liver a chance to rejuvenate. If you are full when your head hits the pillow even though you may be in Delta state your gut is pulling an all-nighter and on a regular basis, this exhausts your energy reserves.
If this happens to you on a regular basis, don’t get discouraged. Just remember that it is just a habit. Habits are just what we did yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. If I’ve never typed a blog post from this official desk position, I’m less likely to want to do it, but if I discipline myself to do it ANYWAY, then after a few days it will get easier and soon I will be having cocktail hour here at my desk rather than in Mom’s chair in the living room. It takes 4 days to form a new rut in the folds of your cortex. Try putting a note near your nightstand or perhaps taped to your computer screen . If you check your email in the evening, scroll a screen saver that says “Go to bed hungry.”
This will remind you to check in with how full you are and that it is okay to sense some hollowness in your tummy as you wind down the day. If this seems too difficult, have a cup of tea, brush your teeth or take a hot bath to keep you out of the kitchen after-hours.
Okay. I did it.That was challenging but not as bad as I feared. Maybe I can think sitting upright. But give me a few posts to get in shape for it. I’m going to make a post every day for the next 4 days to try to get my fingers hooked up. They may not be worth reading (but give it a few sentences before you hit delete please)If you don’t get one, please email me to keep me accountable. But don’t panic if I don’t respond immediately.I’ll be in the living room watching Ellen.