Reversing the Irreversible
December 5, 2008
Thanksgiving Run-Down
6:07am-Woke up in a panic thinking kids overslept.
6:08am-Remembered with relief no school today. Vowed to go back to sleep.
6:15am-Too thrilled with the idea of being able to sleep-in to actually go back to sleep. Rededicate my effort to try harder to relax.
6:25am-Effort fails. Get up to make coffee.
7:30am-Hunger pangs. Briefly consider skipping breakfast to bank calories for big dinner later then remember that starving makes me bingey. Rookie mistake. Have Cream of Wheat, banana, handful of vitamins and extra coffee for workout.
7:48am-Have last minute ingenious idea for spin class that starts in 12 minutes. Attempt to turn on computer, download songs from Itunes to computer to Ipod while flossing teeth and filling water bottle.
8:01am-Race to club and realize that spin class is extra long today to bank some calories for later. Have momentary thoughts of quitting my job then remind myself that’s why I love my job since it makes me exercise even when I don’t feel like it.
8:40am-Remind everyone in class that the past 40 minutes have been the amount of time it will take to burn off one small piece of pecan pie ala mode. Heads drop in the humble cruelty of this naked fact.
9:18am-I can’t take this anymore! Get me off this bike!
9:31am-Second wind arrives like a breeze fed ex’ed from Cabos San Lucas. I could spin all day. But relieved to know class is almost over. I can do this.
10:00am-Smiles and empty water bottles everywhere. Time to cook. For most people that is.
10:24am-Starving again. Really want to just say no. Argue with myself that not eating after exercise makes metabolism funky. Have a small protein shake and enough water to float a Macy’s Day Float.
10:30-That reminds me. Turn on parade.
10:35am-Turn off parade. Roust the kids. First in the shower so I get some hot water!
11:00AM-Finish ruining the only food assignment I am to bring to our friend’s house. Deviled eggs.
11:17am-Frantically look for deviled egg tray that I got 21 years ago for wedding present. Give up and put eggs in Tupperware even though I know plastic is evil.
11:58am-Lay out kids’ clothes, even though they are teens, to trick them into wearing apparel that they wouldn’t be caught dead in.
12:10pm-Argh! I won the battle to get them in the clothes but now notice the pants are all floods!
12:33pm-After twenty minutes of searching for longer pants and now being convinced that pants are somewhere with egg platter, I surrender and let them wear what they originally wanted. Hubby lays down on couch and says he’s taking a nap wake him up when we are all dressed. I do my 6 rounds of 6 count breaths.
1:30pm-Arrive underdressed at dear friends’, who are not only great cooks but unfairly (yet wonderfully, ) also live in nice mansion.
1:36pm-Mind-boggling sight as we arrive. Friend is on back porch of mansion deep-frying a turkey! In a tie! With no mess! I can’t even deep-fry a chicken nugget without splattering the entire kitchen!
1:40pm-Wonders continue as we enter mansion and smell another turkey roasting in the oven. Just for a taste-testing purposes.
1:45pm Offer to help cook but get in way instead.
1:55pm-Give up the ruse of helping. Sit down in kitchen and watch.
2:00pm-Feel guilty watching. Go on Re-con mission to investigate home gym. Find bi-annually used ab cruncher and vow to get one.
2:12pm-Back in kitchen. Accept offer of glass of finely aged wine no doubt a Rothchild 1940-something, in spite of the fact that it is 2pm on a Thursday and in spite of the fact that I like wine more than wine likes me and simply because I never get to drink wine that costs more than $10/bottle.It is deliciously thirst-quenching.
2:16-Ruminate on that sad fact that I have high-end taste buds and low-end wine budget.
2:25pm-Observe hosts descending on kitchen island with side-dish after mouth-watering side-dish, each one more delectable than the one before, each recipe having been handed down generation to generation with each descendant perfecting the recipe in subtle yet mouth watering ways so that by the time I put them on my plate(a smaller plate this year I swear) I am practically weaping tears of joy.
2:30pm-I succeed in my vow to enjoy every bite, on a day where too much eating is barely enough.
3:01pm- In an act of devotion more onerous than unloading the dishwasher hubby offers to do the dishes, which stirs a spark in my groin. Except that I am too full.
4:45pm-Hugs all around as we leave our friends who love adopting off orphans but are probably glad to see us go so they can unbuckle their own pants.Home to unbuckle our own britches. All conditions for sleep are at hand-a full belly, darkness, warmth.
7:00pm-America’s Funniest Videos is on.Laughing aides digestion
8:59pm-Another Thanksgiving dinner done. Happy that I didn’t miss any moments this year frowning at the tight sensation of my waistband.
Sometimes the irreversible IS reversible.
Comments
Got something to say?
Sign Up for Special Insider Info and Tips!
