Trying to decide whether to get a hip replacement at the age of 43 was the biggest, most agonizing decision of my life so far (besides the four nights of letting my 8 month old twins cry it out in the middle of the night). For about three months, I debated the whole range of possibilities, positing theories and imagining worst possible case scenarios to the utmost degree that my imagination would allow.
Now I see that I really should’ve saved myself all of the back and forth debate by simply making a few lists; lists of reasons TO get a new hip and reasons AGAINST. Here is what my lists would look like, knowing what I know now.
Ten Things I Feared I’d Never Do Again Because My Hip Hurt Too Much That I Can Now Do With Joy Since My Hip Replacement
1. Sleep straight through the night
2. Have sex in any position I feel like (which isn’t many but a girl likes to have options)
3. Go to Disneyworld
4. Walk my dog
5. Get in and out of the car painlessly
6. Be the last one on the dance floor
7. Walk fast in high heels
8. Ride horses
9. Pole dance
10. Carry my own luggage (although I’ve got mixed feelings about this one)
Ten Things I Still Cannot Do But Will Not Go To My Grave Regretting Not Having Done Them
2. Ride a Brahma bull
3. The splits
4.Get a root canal without premedicating
5.Run a marathon
6.Go bottomless on a nude beach
7.Smuggle weapons onto an airplane
8.Become a body contortionist
9.Work at an electromagnetic particle accelerator factory
10.Claim to have all my original parts
Is there any question that I made the correct decision? In my mind it is clear. If I wanted to get back to the business of really living the active lifestyle that I was used to, then the choice was obvious.
I’ve never been the type to decide what I want for dinner tonight based on how it will affect my arteries in a decade and in the same vein I couldn’t stomach what my deteriorated hip had on today’s menu, even I cannot say for sure how long this new joint will last. I count on my doctor and his progressive staff to have in their surgical little hands, a nifty new re-replacement at the point down the road when I need it.
And even the living that I’ve done in these past two years have made the whole procedure worthwhile.
Just take another look at my list to see what I’m missing, and what I’m not.