Holiday Fitness You’ll Log

December 4, 2009

This is a hypothetical journal of what I hope and imagine YOU’LL
be doing this holiday season to stay on the Fitness Good Boys & Girls List.
Just for the record I will be checking it twice.
*YOU’LL decide now and make an inner pact with yourself to workout X number of days per week throughout the holiday season. Pick a number of workout days that are reasonable and stick with it. No matter how fat you feel or how hungover you are.
*YOU’LL put on your own life mask first in order to better rescue others. This means YOU’LL
LET IT GO
and take de-stress breaks when you feel holiday panic as in
“OMG!! I forgot to go online at 5:59am to get in a virtual line of 51,000 other (better) moms to enter the lottery to get one of the last twenty Tickle-Me-Elmo’s that I promised I’d get for little Suzy cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die!”
YOU’LL
LET IT GO.
*YOU’LL start every party with the latest bar drink called a “Mistletoe”- it’s seltzer w/a splash of cranberry juice plus lime. I made this up but if you ask the bartender for it and then splain to him what is in it we could have a drink movement started (an un-drink movement rather) then you can move on to wine, then alternate mistletoe, wine, mistletoe…do I really need to splain why?
*YOU’LL control excess calorie consumption of low NCR (Nutrient to Calorie Ratio) foods by using the delay technique. Use this for the really yummy things. Don’t say “No, I am not allowed to have that delicious yet forbidden delicacy that is only offered to me once every 365 days.” That’s just plain sad at Christmas. Say (to both yourself and your host) “I’ll have some a little later.” This is known as the Hoffinator Delay Technique.
Then see if, five minutes later, the urge has passed.
In 94 times out of 100, you don’t even remember what you passed up.
*YOU’LL get eight hours of sleep. Preferably nine.
*YOU’LL make sure your camera is charged, repaired and in your purse so that YOU’LL remember that wonderful moments sometimes happen in the church parking lot on Christmas Eve and
*YOU’LL also let someone take a picture for you so that you can jump in the shot and actually be IN some of the pictures from 2009.
*YOU’LL laugh really hard at least once a day. Tickling may be required to make this happen.
*YOU’LL focus on something joyful every day,
like your dog
or your botox
or by watching Forrest Gump
or A Christmas Story since it is on 23 hours out of every day in mid-December. It is continuously broadcast for a very good reason. The movie is true (My brothers and sisters and I actually lived a similar movie in Ohio)
and it is funny.
YOU’LL watch it and smile.
And there you have my
Holiday Fitness You’ll Log.