Holiday Fitness You’ll Log
December 12, 2008
Sitting here by my fireplace with exactly two weeks left before Christmas, I’ve finally broken through my holiday procrastination and have started making some big decisions, like “Do we get our son the Xbox 360 OR do we send him to college?” and “If I really hate sending out my annual Christmas card but love getting them, is it okay to send an email holiday greeting under the guise of going green even though I’m really just lazy?” and “Since I eat half of the yummy family fudge that I only make at Christmas for the very reason that I eat half of it, can I not make it and save everybody the two ell-bees?”
So I’m not baking this year. It’s too costly in ways beyond finances and I’ve decided that instead I’m giving everyone a homemade Christmas song. It is still in the half-baked zone but I will present it to you all as my holiday gift when I’m finished cookin’ it up.
For now, I want to present to you my
Holiday Fitness You’ll Log
This is a hypothetical journal of what I hope and imagine YOU’LL be doing this holiday season to stay on the fitness Good Boys & Girls List. Just for the record I will be checking it twice.
*YOU’LL decide now and make an inner pact with yourself to workout X number of days per week throughout the holiday season. Pick a number of workout days that are reasonable and stick with it. No matter how fat you feel or how hungover you are.
*YOU’LL put on your own life mask first in order to better rescue others. This means YOU’LL LET IT GO
and take de-stress breaks when you feel holiday panic as in“OMG!! I forgot to go online at 5:59am to get in a virtual line of 50,000 other (better) moms to enter the lottery to get one of the last 20 Tickle-Me-Elmo Dolls that I promised I’d get for little Suzy cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die!” You’ll LET IT GO.
*YOU’LL start every party with the latest bar drink called a Mistletoe- it’s seltzer w/a splash of cranberry juice (or ACAI JUICE!!!!!)plus lime. I made this up but if you ask the bartender for it and then splain to him what is in it we could have a drink movement started (an un-drink movement rather) then move on to wine, then alternate mistletoe, wine, mistletoe…do I really need to splain why?
*YOU’LL control excess calorie consumption of low NCR (Nutrient to Calorie Ratio) foods by using the delay technique. These are the yummy things. Don’t say “No, I am not allowed to have that delicious yet forbidden delicacy that is only offered to me once every 365 days.” That’s just plain sad at Christmas. Say (to both yourself and your host) “I’ll have some a little later.” This is known as the Hoffinator Delay Technique. Then see if, five minutes later, the urge has passed. In 94 times out of 100, you don’t even remember what you passed up.
*YOU’LL get eight hours of sleep. Preferably nine.
*YOU’LL make sure your camera is charged, repaired and in your purse so that YOU’LL remember that wonderful moments sometimes happen in the church parking lot on Christmas Eve and
*YOU’LL also let someone take a picture for you so that you can jump in the shot and actually be in some of the pictures from 2009.
*YOU’LL laugh really hard at least once a day. Tickling may be required to make this happen.
*YOU’LL focus on something joyful very day, like your dog or your botox or by watching Forrest Gump or A Christmas Story since it is on 23 hours out of every day during Christmas. This is for a very good reason. It is true and funny. YOU’LL watch it and smile.
And there you have my Holiday Fitness You’ll Log.
Use it to fill your home (and your gym) with joy, your heart with love and your life with laughter.
HoHoHo
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