Gas-Passing For Dummies
April 2, 2010
A few newsletters ago, I shared of some of my low moments; times I’ve fallen down and/or unintentionally passed gas. (If you missed it, read it here)As I hit send, I started to worry, almost immediately, if people would, once again, think I was nuts. But the helpful responses began to arrive within minutes, with a distinct focus, not on my falls, but rather, my flatulence.
“Always blame it on the dog!” my self-proclaimed expert friend Mabel suggested. “Breath only through your mouth until you’re in a clear air section” advised Rosemary. Next I received several comments from commiserating friends who tried to reassure me with their own gas tales- think of it as the bigger, faster, stronger version of flatulence. I heard from Shelly (on her first date), Tina (the dastardly sneeze fart), Michelle ( during her OB-GYN exam), Sally (when her personal trainer asked her to squeeze out one more rep-she did). Okay, Folks, thanks for the reassurance that I am not alone and for letting me count my lucky stars that things could be much, much worse.
With every email, I started to feel luckier and luckier, knowing that my friends firstly, act much more dignified than they really are and secondly I felt lucky never to have actually had to witness any of these scenarios. I mean, WHEW!
And since I never get this much feedback (get it?)from readers after my fact-based fitness articles, I can’t resist the inspiration to devise a list of my
Top Ten Most Embarassing Places to Pass Gas In The Gym
1. In a headstand in yoga class (air rises, you know)
2. On the massage table
3. In the sauna
4. Hot Yoga class (bringing a new definition to the term “ass-ana”)
5. With your Personal Trainer(the “Come on! Push!One More Rep!” Fart)
6. Pilates Mat class with all the former ballerinas
7. In the locker room when you thought you were alone
8. Spinning next to the cute guy/girl
9. At the water fountain when you didn’t know someone was standing behind you
10. During Savasana, the quiet resting period at the end of yoga class where silence is maintained for a few moments.
And remember, you are the wind beneath my wings.
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Thanks for the laugh!!
Let’s hope those apricots go through me before tomorrow morning’s class!
Maria´s last blog ..Happy Easter!!!
I love your website, Penny. Inspiring and humorous, you’re not afraid to make fun of yourself too.
You’re doing a great service normalising the experience of hip replacements and pointing to life being better afterwards.
I had bilateral hip replacement 9 weeks ago and am thrilled to be back doing yoga. Keep up the good work.
Cheers,
Eve from Oz
Eve´s last blog ..Tired