Amazing New Pill That Replaces Exercise
April 1, 2010
I thought the day would never come when science would invent a pill that gives you all the benefits of exercising without breaking a sweat. In the past you may remember me ranting about how if they could put exercise in a pill that it’d be the new Oxycontin and that we’d all be addicted. Well, I never thought I’d say this but they did it. Researchers at the prestigious Sloof Health Institute of Technology announced just yesterday that they have actually gotten FDA approval to market a radical new pill called “Exer-agra” that, with one daily dose gives you the cardiovascular and strength training benefits of an elite athlete within-believe it or not- one week without ever leaving your couch! Participants in trial studies experienced minimal side effects (besides loss of appetite and in rare cases, delusions of superiority) have also dropped from 4 to 6 pounds per week! Weight loss evens off, not at people’s set point, but actually at most people’s dream weight!
As soon as I heard about this trial study(it’s being sponsored by Oprah,by the way) I went to their website, applied and was accepted into the initial drug trial. I never thought I’d say it but I’m giving up exercise. I’m done. I quit. Also,I assume that I’ll also be out of a job soon since this drug will put all health clubs out of business by early next year. Exer-agra is moderately expensive but think of all the money you’ll save on exercise gear and workout clothes and gym memberships, not to mention the time savings (which you can now spending on the couch snacking!) And in another surprise move, not that I’m really surprised but Obama also unveiled yesterday that he’d snuck a clause into the health care reform that, if you qualified as obese (that’s twenty pounds overweight) your drug cost would revert to all the skinny people!
If you’d like to particpate in the initial trial, go to S.H.I.T’s website- It’s at www.youvejustbeenpranked.com
(and if you clicked on that link you’re a victim of the ol’ Double/Double prank)
Now get out there, You Lazy People Looking For An Easy Way Out Who Actually Read This Far
GET OUT THERE and start exercising!
P.S. Sloof Health Institute of Technology’s acronym is SHIT and
Sloof spelled backwards is
FOOLS
NOW HAVE A FUN AND FIT APRIL FOOL’S DAY!
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