February 12, 2010
QUICKIE TIPS FOR COUPLES
* THE F WORD-
DO YOU USE IT? I MEAN THE WORD “FINE” AS IN “Everything’s FINE, Honey, I don’t mind if you go on that golf weekend in Vegas” Be sure you don’t say everything FINE when it’s not. That doesn’t mean you have to go to the mat over every dish left in the sink, but try to be open about how YOU are feeling.
* Don’t Interrupt-
My husband reminds me not to interrupt by saying nicely to me, “Let me finish” and then I remember to let him finish. My personal friends could learn a thing or two about getting a word in edgewise here.
The first five minutes when you greet each other should be a whine-free, nag-free zone. These crucial first moments set the tone for the entire evening.
So if you had no plans for Valentine’s Day….Now you do.
February 12, 2010
If you are married, have you maintained romantic intensity even after years together? Let me tell you, staying at your goal weight is an easier thing to do. I was reminded of this topic in a New York Times newspaper article called Reinventing Date Night For Long Married Couples.
The bottom line is, us old married folk are going about it
all wrong , even if we go out with other couples for pleasant dinners or to the movies most weekends.New research from brain and behavior researchers say quality time together is still not enough to prevent a relationship from getting boring.
The sexperts (I’d like to be a fly on their bedroom wall,if they are the so-called experts!) say we can rekindle the flame that we wistfully remember from our first dates together by reinventing DATE NIGHT, but not just any date night, it has to be an innovative date night.
Put on your thinking caps, girls, because dinner with the Smiths every other weekend does not count. In order to rekindle the fire, it has to be a new and different activity that you both enjoy.They call it brain science. When we try new activities, these experiences stimulate our brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine.
These are the very same brain doo-hickies that are doo-hickied in new romance.
Remember?When you can’t stop wondering what he’s doing right now, what shirt he’s wearing, replaying the entire dialogue from last night’s phone conversation.
Remember those days?
Any way- the article implies that just by doing new things together (and that means at the same time,Men) may reignite the tummy butterflies by actually restimulating the brain’s chemical rushes of early love.And I can’t stop myself from recommending any number of fitness activities.Here are some couple’s fitness suggestions:
Pool -as in Pool Hall, not swimming,which leads to wet hair
thus negative chemical surges about your mate’s hair
and every respectable town has a pool hall or at least a VFW.
Trapeze (NYC has a location for beginners, talk about butterflies)
Jumping on the trampoline
Swinging on a swing set
Hide and Seek (!!)
A Game of Tag
Get the idea? I dare you to try one new adventure this week.The sexperts say “You don’t have to swing from the chandeliers. Just go to a new part of a town or take a drive in the country.” I say amp it up one more notch. Take a sexy picture of yourself and send it to your mate, and see what happens.
But my main point is that Everyone feels better when they move their body.Find an activity you both can share.Surprise your mate. Maybe you will surprise yourself.
Happy Valentines Day from my Workout World.
February 12, 2010
MARITAL MOOD TIPS
* My definition of foreplay differs from my husband’s.If he unloads the dishwasher, I am EXCITED.He on the other hand would be revved up if I accidently got tangled up in my pantlegs and stumbled around the bedroom with my drawers at my ankles.Go figure.
My point is that men and women have vastly different needs.Do you know what your mate’s top three needs are?You need to know.Whether you meet them or not is another blogpost.
Why,why, why do we need to know, you women ask? So that we stay connected, of course.It is my humble opinion that unmet needs are the biggest cause of trouble on this earth, whether it is in the Middle East or in your kitchen.Think about it.
So have a little conversation this weekend. Don’t interrupt (That’s also another marital fitness blogpost).
Ask each other What are your top three needs in your relationship.It might be physical affection, help around the house, to be heard without interruption,to have a half hour of peace and quiet,surprises,daily laughter(Women, don’t be surprised if the S word comes up.Here’s a hint.Men like it)
I hope this has you reevaluating your connection with the person you’ve flossed your teeth next to a thousand times (I hope you floss together.Flossing is so important to cardiovascular health.Yet another fitness blogpost).
If we are committed in our marriage then it deserves some tuning-up, just like with our car maintenance even though it’s driving smoothly. An oil change every 4000 miles(or is it every 6000?This isn’t one of my needs but it sure is for my husband)) keeps the engine revved up.
My Take Your Marriage On A Walk fitness CD program can give you a more structured 8 week Couples
Personal Training(walking ) program if you’d like to tune up your marriage! Ignore this if you are “need-free” .
Otherwise, CHECK IT OUT
February 12, 2010
You can drink some hot cocoa. You can wear your thermal underwear, build a fire in the fireplace, do shots of whiskey or turn the thermostat up. All of these strategies will help you take the edge off the cold weather. But the most authentic body warming technique to get yourself and keep yourself warm has always been and always will be EXERCISE.
Put your hands on your cheeks right now. Are your fingers cold? Try 20 push ups and check your cheeks once again, I bet those fingers are warmer.
I’m speaking just from a “warming up your tootsies” angle but there is even more scientific reasoning for exercising, even in the winter.
“If you can’t walk a quarter mile in five minutes, the chance that you’ll be dead in three years is three times higher than if you can’t. It’s a BIG deal.” This is what I remember Oprah’s guru of health, Dr. Oz, saying one day last season. It was such a powerful statement to me that it stuck in the part of my brain that remembers things I want to remember, like the 2 days a month my cleaning lady, Saint Vicky comes or the entire published workout routine of President-to-be Obama or like the date my year end bonus is put through. Important minutae, I call it. Sometimes the snow sticks, sometimes it melts. Same with my brain.
Exercise will keep you alive and alert for longer than if you don’t do it. That should be your intrinisic reason for exercising, but if not, you can do it to just warm yourself up, both motivations get the job done.
When the snow piles up, the way it has around town this past week, the one way to keep your inner thermostat revved up is through exercise.
I know that getting to the gym is a pain in the glutes. Putting on exercise gear, then a few outer layers, then trudging to the car, scraping it down, holding but trying not to touch a steering wheel as cold as ice, then making it to the health club- ain’t for sissies.
But if you can break a sweat on the days it falls into the single digit weather zone, then your body will thank you. Your mind will be clearer and the winter slime, as it’s known around our house, will vanish.
It’s good for your skin too. When the temperature drops, my skin starts feeling like sandpaper. And I’ve never been good with following the directions on the labels of all my moisturizers. I end up putting night cream on in the daytime, eye cream on my cheeks, face cream on my legs, foot cream on my hands and chapstick under my nose. But if I exercise, I notice my skin feels less dry.
This is, of course, if I drink lots of water. The way you know you are drinking enough water at this time of year is if you have to pee within 20 minutes after finishing your workout.
Go have a big glass on me.