Just Don’t Do It-The Healing Power of Restraint
February 25, 2009
Is it a sin to separate the message from the messenger for just a brief blog post? I hate to start off Lent on the wrong foot. If so, forgive me Lord in advance for what I’m about to do. Today is Ash Wednesday and for those of you not in the know about Jesus and his crazy life, this day marks the beginning of Lent, the craziest last 40 days of Jesus’ crazy life on this planet, not counting Sundays for some Christian-slash-Sunday reason that I both don’t understand and don’t have time to get into right now, which means Lent is really 46 days, but let’s just round down for once and say that Lent is the 40 day time period of precontemplative willingness to endure some form of suffering in symbolic recognition of The Man’s Walk to Glory, ending on Sunday, April 11 which is Easter.
And as is my tendency to tie one remote day-to-day topic to the ever-present topic (in my mind) of fitness, I awoke last night correlating the beginning of Lent as the perfect time to make that fitness, actually lifestyle change, Christians and non-Christians alike. Why should we all jump on the Lenten wagon? Well for one thing, since lack of fitness can lead to many adverse symptoms including death, the final symptom, and for another, Lent is a culturally accepted way of stopping the saboteurs in your life; the ones who leave homemade cookies in the lunchroom and make your favorite fettuccini Alfred when they know you are in Phase One of the South Beach Diet or the so-called friends who plan to meet you at the bar with the freebie 2fer1 margaritas happy hour even though they know that alcohol is not in Phase One either. The simple phrase, “I’m giving it up for Lent” stops the conversation short (unless you are Jewish then you’ve got some splaining to do) Anyway, in our society, saying you are giving it up for Lent gets you off the hot seat.Next topic.
I mean if Father Guido Sarducci from SNL can give up his mentholated cigarettes, then certainly we can get down to this business of abstention and sacrifice in the name of God and if not in the name of God then at least in the name of Fitness, not that they are the same motivation but the giving up part will still help you reap the same benefits (thank God.)
If Father Guido Sarducci does not inspire you and you need yet more motivation to head into 40 days and nights (really 46 which might not seem like much until you get to about Day 39) of some form of depravity, consider that the idea that restraint reaches into many other spiritual practices, yoga being the first to come to my mind.
I’m probably going to butcher this but let me see if I can explain the Penny Hoff version of the one chapter of the Yoga Sutras, the yamas.The second of the eight limbs of the Ashtanga yoga path to enlightenment is called the yamas which are ethical precepts that are supposed to make us better people. The yamas are called restraints because they are things you withhold or give up, ahimsa being the first and most famous yama, which means non-violence, which is where the idea of vegetarianism comes from. There’s also truth-telling meaning don’t lie and there’s non-stealing and non-greediness, self-explanatory and the no sex yama which I don’t quite get but let’s stay on topic.
If any of these are hard for you, then giving that up is a good place to start. Why? Awareness for starters. Or try giving up alcohol, coffee (don’t suggest this one to your office cubicle mates),swearing, procrastination (nah, let’s do this one later), TV, junk food, texting while driving or Facebook (like one dad is doing for Lent as described in the Wall Street Journal) can all be eye-opening experiences. Becoming aware of our addictions is a walk into the deeper parts of our consciousness and has the potential to wake us up.
Renunciation is a tool for facing what we are enslaved to. It is not for the weak. It demands strength and discipline.
For me, I am trying to stop thinking so much. This economy has my mind in a twist and as I watched the president’s speech to Congress last night, hoping this would reassure me, I found my mind even more filled with worrying. So after another frigging night of sleeplessness, I’m giving up excessive thinking. It’s toxic.
I’m going to attempt this by starting a formal meditation practice, every morning for 30 minutes for which I will have to get up at 5:15am OUCH but I’m usually lying there worrying anyway. I started today and I fidgeted the entire time, it almost killed me but I made it through a half hour without going insane which was about as likely as the earth, moon and sun aligning for a total solar eclipse. Still, we humans survived the ice age; hopefully we can survive for 40 (6) days of restraint in one small corner of our daily lives.
What is the lesson of Lent for people who don’t officially observe Lent? To be willing to change. To be happy in spite of what we do not have. To become aware of our attachments. To be less of a slave to our mind. To learn patience and develop endurance.
If that is not motivation enough, then okay, you can throw in a loophole or two, say for St Patrick’s Day or your birthday and/or one wild card day (probably this Friday). That’s the thing about Lent. You make your own rules.
I don’t know for sure, but I’m guessing there’s got to be some scientific basis for the healing power of restraint. All I know is that as far as fitness is concerned, restraint keeps us from giving up and helps us to continue to try to be better and to live better and then even if we don’t actually end up better, we can hopefully be happy with what we’ve been given.
Need a mantra to keep you focused during the days ahead? Don’t tell Nike but try this one:
JUST DON’T DO IT
11 Tips For Living a Shorter, Fatter Life
February 25, 2009
Give yourself 5 points for every yes answer and zero for every no answer.
1. When you regularly choose to skip your workout your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
2. When you go to bed with a full belly, your chances of living a fatter life go up.
3. When you starve all day and eat a huge meal at night, your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
4. When you drink three or more drinks a day, your chances of living a shorter and fatter life go up.
5. When you sleep less than 6 hours a night, your chances of living less long go up.
6. When you can’t see your toes because of your belly, your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
7. When you skip breakfast everyday, your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
8. When you are so stressed out that it keeps you awake at night, your chances of living a shorter life go up.
9. When you avoid stress reducing, mind-body techniques like yoga and tai chi or meditation, your chances of living a chaotic life go up.
10. When you never lift weights or do weight-bearing exercises like push-ups, your chances of living in a nursing home go up
11. When you eat lots of sugar, white breads and no fiber, your chances of living a fatter, shorter life go up.
Now add up your points and be honest with yourself.
55-40 Points-Congratulations! You will live the shortest, fattest life possible! Enjoy it while you can, It won’t be much longer.
39-25 Points- You’re doing okay with shortening your life span but if you just let yourself slip a bit more you should be dead before you know it, You’ve got several promising bad habits.
24-20 Points- You have your occasional slip-ups, but overall you are failing at dying early, keep trying though. All it takes is a little slacking and in a decade or two, you can undo all your success.
Under 19 Points- You’ve failed miserably at living the short, fat life. I hate to tell you that you’ll probably live a longer, slimmer life than most, but oh well, at least those smarties in the categories above won’t be around to witness it.
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